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advice?

i know, objectively, that i should probably share what i wrote in my last superlong post (which probably no one read and i dont blame them) with my pdoc with whom i made an emergency appointment with for monday, but now i feel like it's stupid. especially the weird two experiences on the bottom. i mean i was IN BED each time and on the edge of sleep the first time... maybe not share that part? i printed the entry to either let her read or so that i could pick the relevant points from it because i express myself more clearly (and slowly-- coherently) through writing. im not sure how long our appointments are, really. i guess the reason it's good to bring it in is because i kind of block out my episodes later when i feel better, i don't remember how extreme i felt and so to have it written it is there and explained and though i can verbally qualify it and say oh no it wasn't all that, it speaks for itself as well. what i write can argue with what i say. But... if anyone wants to read the last two paragraphs of the last post (they actually start with 'a)' and 'b)' and maybe tell me if i should share thatd be awesome.
So I got my "ticket to work" a couple of months ago (actually last year), and I have my 2nd intervew since my disability started tomorrow. The job is parttime office work, but i'm not sure how much I will be getting paid, but I called Soc Sec. today and apparently if I make more than $700.00 a month, it will start to effect my SSI checks,..which I don't want. I'm not sure how much i'd be making at this job, but I really hope it doesn't effect my checks. Anyone else in this type of predicament??

I'm a newbie! Don't be too harsh on me.

Name: Bridget
Age: 24
Status: Marital status? Or something else?
Kids? Ages? Names?: Nein. I am childless.
Age you were diagnosed as bipolar?: In about eighth grade I was misdiagnosed as being depressed. My medicine really brought out the manic side of my illness. One stay in the hospital later I was diagnosed as being bipolar.
Where do you live? Northeastern Ohio
What meds do you take/dosages? Buspar, Cymbalta... I’m not sure of the others. I haven’t really been ‘with it’ for weeks, now, but I know I’m on those two at least. I have a complicated medicinal regimen.
Have you ever been inpatient in a facility? Yes, several times in a few different hospitals in Youngstown and Cleveland.
Do you have any other mental illness diagnosis? I have bulimia, generalized anxiety disorder, and once in a blue moon I will suffer from psychotic symptoms. None of which are pleasant. That’s why I applied, actually. I just went through a bad time mentally and I thought I could vent in this community.
Would you like to share a picture of yourself? Why not?

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Any good websites on Bipolar disorder you would like to share? If I find any, I’ll be sure to let you know!
Name: Amber.
Age: 27.
Status: Engaged.
Kids? Ages? Names?: None yet.
Age you were diagnosed as bipolar?: When I was 10.
Where do you live? KY for the last 3 years, MI before that.
What meds do you take/dosages? I dont. I need to, but I dont have a job or insurance and have been turned down for state help a number of times. That is what I miss about MI, they had county help that paid for my meds and theopy. :[ I have been getting worse and worse lately.
Have you ever been inpatient in a facility? Kinda. I could go home and stuff, but I had to go everyday.
Do you have any other mental illness diagnosis? ADD, very bad anxiety, cutting...
Would you like to share a picture of yourself? No, people are too judgemental. :/ If you really wanted to see tho I guess you could look at my myspace...
Any good websites on Bipolar disorder you would like to share? I dont know of any.
...So I just spent 3 days in the hospital after having a manic episode and beating my fiance up on Monday night, and taking a handful of sleeping pills on Tuesday morning, I just got home from the psych ward in the hospital downtown. Part of me felt that I didn't need to be there and was pissed about having to copmmit myself (If I didn't sign the consent I'd have been committed by them), and the other part of me felt that I needed the help, and enjoyed seeing a new dr and going to group sessions, i even met two friends.
I finally won and got my ssi, after a almost year battling with my lawyer! Including back pay!

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Yeah, I'm new so.. hi :)
cut because this is one long ass diatribe:

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1. On a scale of 1-10, 10 being the BEST, how do you feel currently?

2. Over this summer, how was your bipolar (stable, unstable) and do you know why it was good or bad?

3. What are your goals for this fall (any kind of goals will do)?

4. Do you generally experience mania or depression in the fall, or have you never noticed a trend?

5. How can we, as a community, support you better?



1. Around a six. I'm managing, but could be better.
2. Mostly stable and good. I've had some downs, but they're functional downs.
3. Get my writing finished in some form.
4. Yes, the trend is tied to some cycle I've no control over.
5. I'm not sure. Short of finding me a matchmaker that can find me a real chance at love? Nothing. Really that it isn't already doing *LOL*


Jul. 12th, 2008

And on top of everything ive been denied my disability. I dont know where to start to make an appeal, and my lawyer didnt help me much during the process. Im feel so terrible